Friday, July 01, 2005

A OK

I feel better now. I had the chance to blow off some (ok maybe a lot) of steam and I managed to get some good night's sleep. On top of all that, I had the chance to reconnect with a couple of old friends, and that was nice. No, it was awesome!

I've never been the type who brushed things under the carpet but I wish I thought more carefully about things before I went berserk. I now realize how badly I took things - like a sore loser. It's too bad I lacked the grace and wisdom to have reacted differently.

After being able to think some more about all that has happened , I realized that everything I was ranting about I brought upon myself. I have been barking up the wrong tree. It may have been someone else's call but in the end, when I really think about it, the ball has always been in my court. For in this very real (and sometimes bad) world you only have 2 choices: keep up & shape up, OR pack up & ship out. It's never enough to do only the things you want to do. Forget that, it's not even enough to the things you NEED to do. As far as the limits of tradition and memory would go, it has always been the survival of the fittest -- the selection process where the best of the best comes out on top. In all your undertakings, never simply aim for the standard but always seek to set the bar high. You should not only get to the finish line but be ahead of the pack when you cross it. No, I'm not saying crab mentality. I would never associate my person with that mindset. But sometimes the to be remembered it's not enough to do your best, you have to make sure your best is THE best. Not that I only realized all that now. I guess I've always been the type whose initial reaction to the bitter pill is a crazy fit. At kakaunti lang ata kaming ganun!! Haha.

Bottom line is I got angry and my thoughts and actions lacked the grace of a Christian. But I'm not gonna beat myself up over all that. At least now I see and accept things as they are. There is no bone of contention. The has jury decided and I abide by the decision.

this coffee break @ 7:23 PM